Nightmares

I guess I can handle a little bird of bad thoughts fluttering around my brain cage. But what do I do when that bird evolves into a big, clumsy T. rex that tears through my house, knocking over all the glass and crushing the furniture to pieces.

I dreamt a group of very bad people wanted to kill me. And not just me but other sad, innocent people. The people said they would come for me in the night. But first, I had to come to their office in the day because they decided my leg needed to be cut off, too. I tried, briefly, to appeal to their humanity and beg for mercy, but there’s no point in persuading people who want you to die for no reason and who want to saw off your perfectly healthy limb. In panic, I thought I should make an escape, leave the country and disappear. Besides, it’s not like they held me captive. They just told me to come. But for some reason, instead of making a run for it, I waited outside their office like a patient waiting for her doctor, willingly, waiting for them to call my name.

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Water Water Water

Something in me requires that I spend time with water. Looking at it, swimming in it, paddling on it, wading in it. sitting next to it. Something.

I’m obsessed. I get water cravings. I especially get beach cravings, but unfortunately those are hard to satisfy when I live in the Inland Northwest, about six hours from the nearest ocean water. Luckily, there are loads of lakes and rivers. Every time I spend time with water, my state of mind and my physical feelings vastly improve.

The other day, I stopped by the river after work and dipped my feet in the water just as the sun was getting low in the sky.

Today, I was reunited with my most precious possession: my standup paddleboard! I bought my paddleboard the summer before I left to travel, so I only got one summer with him. And it was a glorious summer. But I missed him the whole time I was gone. While I was traveling, I dreamed about this moment. I dreamed how splendid it would be to paddle out on one of our lakes again. The water was glassy. The sun reflected charmingly off of the surface. The water was cold, but refreshingly crisp. And how I missed those pine tree-studded shores.